Connections with others and keeping ourselves busy and active are so important for our mental health. Facing social isolation and experiencing change to our usual roles and routines can be very challenging. Any mixture of emotions that you might be experiencing are extremely understandable right now. You are not going mad if you are noticing your feelings are a bit all over the place. We are in a period of adjustment and threat and so it is very normal that we might feel intense “big feelings” (as I say to my little one) at this time. Try to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling with kindness and compassion, with the knowledge that this is all temporary and these feelings will ebb and flow and change.
After acknowledging and validating how we are feeling, there are some simple practical steps we can take to try and boost our mood. By taking these steps you are actively nourishing your mental health and helping to prevent your mood dipping lower. (However, if you do feel you are struggling and need proper help, please always contact your GP or seek out professional psychological advice).
The approach I am sharing here is based on Behavioural Activation and is at least as effective as antidepressants at lifting mood (e.g. Ekers et al, 2017 )
Behavioural activation involves formally scheduling activities into your day. Think about how you would normally prioritise an appointment with someone else, and try to consider these ‘appointments with yourself’ as equally important. Using a diary or planner, include at least one of the following every day:
1. Activities associated with a sense of pleasure
2. Activities that bring a sense of achievement
3. Activities that involve connecting to others
In these challenging times, the activities available to us are more limited than usual so we might need to be more creative. Some ideas…
1. Pleasure: having a bath, having a hot drink, watching something you enjoy on TV, listening to music, taking a walk, dancing, singing, practicing a hobby, eating chocolate, reading, writing, looking at photos, daydreaming, planning something fun, cooking, eating something delicious, listening to a podcast…..
2. Achievement: completing a household chore, making a phone call you have been putting off, cleaning, organising, completing a work-related task, completing some life admin, decluttering, making a list, completing a jigsaw, making something, rearranging a room, decorating…
It is important to pitch this right: on some days, depending on how we are, simply getting out of bed and dressed can be a big achievement so think about a personal step that is challenging enough but not overwhelming depending on how you are feeling right now. It is the completing of the task that boosts mood so if the task is too big then consider breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps.
3. Connection: This is tricky at the moment but how lucky are many of us that we are facing this challenge with a whole host of technology to help us through? So some ideas: good old fashioned telephone calls, text messages, sharing videos and photos, voice notes, writing letters, sending gifts, sending emails, waving at others (I was doing this with my kids today and it really boosted my mood when someone waved back!), popping notes of support through neighbours’ doors, writing notes of thanks to our postmen & women, bin men & women and other people who continue to serve us, contacting an old friend, reaching out to new friends, setting up and joining online community groups, offering to volunteer (if you are able) to support others, accepting help from others, planning events/dinner parties where people ‘attend’ online, group chats…. etc
Try and commit to these activities daily, and notice how you feel after each one, maybe even keeping a simple mood diary such as rating your mood before and after. You can then use this information to plan future days by scheduling more of the activities that had the biggest positive impact on your mood.
Please share your own ideas and as always, I welcome your thoughts, comments and questions.
Dr Danielle Gerson is a qualified clinical psychologist offering private psychological therapy, courses, training and consultation. www.manchester-psychologist.co.uk