We are all facing what feels like unprecedented uncertainty and a strong sense of threat. A lot of the data suggests the real risk to the majority of us is pretty small, and we have every reason to be hopeful we will come through this fine. However, we may be worried about loved ones (or ourselves) who may be more vulnerable, and we are probably all unsure about how social isolation will affect us economically, socially and psychologically.
Evolutionary psychology helps us to understand how our “old brain” is focussed on threat as its aim is to maximise our chances of survival. It can take over our “new brain” functions, such as thinking, planning, problem-solving etc, and cause us to ruminate and catastrophise about what could happen. We become more focussed on the threat, which makes the threat feel even bigger and more dangerous.
Recent research has also shown that even a small degree of uncertainty can trigger our Threat Systems. We now know that being in ‘Threat Mode’ is our ‘default’ setting, which has to be actively turned off by our Soothing Systems. In other words, we operate very much from a better-safe-than-sorry brain system so it doesn’t take much for our Threat Systems to be activated.
This all makes perfect sense. Our brains naturally want us to be sensitive to threat so that we can take actions to protect ourselves. Whilst threat and uncertainty are always inevitable parts of life, right now it feels heightened, and we are all doing our best to cope.
Sometimes though, the things we do to cope with threat can inadvertently make us feel worse. For example, we might spend more time checking the news and reading information (🙋guilty) which reduces anxiety temporarily (depending on what we read of course), but keeps the threat at the forefront of our minds, adding to our worry in the longer term.
Aside from the actual practical steps we can take to protect ourselves, like hand-washing, is there anything we can do to reduce our feelings of threat and help us cope with the uncertainty?
The short answer-yes, at least to a certain extent. Some suggestions:
1. Compassion: Our brains are designed to focus on risk. It’s not our fault our brains work in this way. It’s not our fault we are facing this problem. It is scary. We are all in the same boat. We are all doing the best we can.
For some of us, that means stocking up on toilet paper. Or avoiding contact with others. Or reading everything we can get our hands on. Or avoiding reading anything at all. Or anywhere in between. Validating how we are feeling, validating how others are feeling (even if different to us), avoiding judgement and being kind to ourselves and others is an essential step to calming our Threat System. Reaching out to others with kindness can benefit ourselves as well as them.
2. Activating our Soothing System: Our Soothing System is one system that can help regulate our feelings of threat. If you picture a see-saw, as Soothing goes up, Threat comes down. Anything you can do to activate this system can help reduce feeling of anxiety. Say the words “warm and fuzzy” to yourself…notice how you feel and if anything comes to mind. Think about feeling connected to others. What kind of things activate those warm, fuzzy, connected type feelings for you?
This is very individual, (and more on this later) but some ideas are: talking to others, soothing breathing, meditation, watching a favourite TV show (Friends for me), cuddling someone if you can, stroking a pet, snuggling a blanket, listening to music or nature sounds, smelling calming fragrances (suncream? lavender? A perfume/aftershave?), looking at pictures of people or scenes you love, looking outside and noticing the sky, the trees, the details of the road or buildings that we don’t usually notice, tasting comforting foods…. Whilst these activities won’t solve the problem, they help turn down our emotional temperature and therefore enable us to look at things in a bit more of a balanced way.
3. Activating our Drive System: Our Drive System is another system that helps turns down our feelings of threat. Just like the Soothing System above, turning up Drive turns down Threat in a similar see-saw-type manner. This system is linked to achievement and getting a buzz. What does this for you? This might include things like work, completing a task, cleaning or tidying, exercise, a challenging or exciting hobby, facing a fear, decluttering, planning something exciting…. Again, whilst this won’t solve the problem, it can turn down Threat so you can think more clearly. This also has the bonus of boosting mood (helping you to avoid depression) by giving you positive emotions and a sense of competence.
4. Avoiding understandable but unhelpful coping strategies: Just like my example of reading too much news, sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves have unintended consequences and accidentally make us feel worse. Consider the things you are doing to cope, and what unintended ‘side effects’ these might be having. Is there a way of coping that reduces or avoids these unhelpful side effects? In the example above, I could consider limiting my news consumption and choosing carefully which sources I read. I could even banish my phone for periods of the day (especially before bed) to help reduce my sense of Threat.
5. Social isolation: If/when we face increased (temporary) social distancing measures, it is worth planning how we can maintain social contact to reduce feeling isolated. Technology makes this easier than ever before-think about specific ways you might be able to keep in touch with people close to you if/when you can’t see them face-to-face. Could you have virtual get togethers? Could you do online or video-based games with others? Can you plan regular phone or video chats? Are there local communty-based online groups you can join to connect with others?
Please share your comments, ideas and thoughts. We are all in this together and although it is a worrying time, by supporting each other we may even come out richer for the experience.
Dr Danielle Gerson is a qualified clinical psychologist offering private psychological therapy, courses, training and consultation. www.manchester-psychologist.co.uk